Personality meltdown: Will Thomas Markle fly to UK to see Meghan
In my recent SKY interview I spoke about the psychology of emotional pain and suffering that both Meghan and her dad would have experienced on the day before she married Prince Harry. I pointed out that during the wedding ceremony there would be intensive emotional pain in both her heart and that of her father Thomas, following his absence due to having heart surgery.
Since her transition from a Hollywood film Star in Suits to becoming an unexpected English Princess, and now the Duchess of Sussex with a dashing young Duke beside her, family tensions imbued with social perceptions, have caused Meghan much embarrassment.
]There is the continuous vitriol perpetuated by her half sister Samantha, but more so is the psychological tension and breakdown between her father Thomas and herself.
It appears that Meghan is mortified about her father’s reaction to her new found status as a member of English Royalty. It’s not everyday that a Hollywood film lighting director is related to the Royal family, and lives his life as a recluse in a small town in rural Mexico. The Duchess of Sussex’s new found role has been shattered with anxiety stress and I know she will have felt feel low mood at times because of her awareness that there is a rift between she and her father. What will he say next? Was his intention to demean her status as a royal? There is deep guilt on both sides in the overall context of the family dynamics. Apart from the media hype and many erroneous attributions made about his personality and Meghan’s, he still is her biological father, and has a right to come to London to reach out the hand of friendship and Meghan too. How extraordinary it is that this intelligent university graduate, now married to The Duke of Sussex, could not have found the social motivation and human compassion to reach out to her father days after the wedding as a top priority visit.
Her upward social mobility and transition to English aristocracy ought not to mean being alienated from her father thousand of miles away. This alienation is felt normally on both sides, but Mr Markle will move heaven and earth to be here soon I would expect. He realizes that his life could be shorter than one would expect, the basic human motivational drive to be with his family and to establish sincere love and gratitude peace and positive relationships on both sides. He will now be reliving all of his social interactions with Meghan before and after theatre school, how he made enormous sacrifices to help her achieve her dreams, and now she has become an English Royal. member of the elite and English aristocracy, whilst he lives in a remote Mexican town away from the limelight. How would he cope with conformity to Royal protocol since he is not married in the Royal family? Yet in all he will be suffering the chronic anxiety and stress of not being in regular touch and no confidence in the communication system with his Royal daughter. We do not know nor are we privy to the private details of the relationship between Meghan and her dad, but she is meant to be a humanitarian. This runs deep into the heart soul and mind of father and daughter.
Its noteworthy that Meghan the Duchess of Sussex seems not to be the one to make the first move to get in touch with her father. How abhorrent that such a beautiful exterior with Hollywood glam and every bit a Royal Duchess, couldn’t find it in her heart to send him a text message, not alone ring him up to enquire of his health following surgery. According to press reports in the tabloids and broadsheets, it argues that Meghan is seen by her loving father as controlling and decisive besides being outspoken.
It’s all about playing the game once inside “the Firm”. With rigid adherence to Royal protocol, the art of which she is still a novice. One would expect her to have had several intercultural conversations with her father about how to behave himself and never to discuss the content of his conversations with his new son in law Prince Harry. Her mother is the epitome of diplomacy, demure sensible maintains protocol at all costs such are the differences in her parent’s personalities. Had the family been closeknit things might have been different, with Doria having lengthy conversations with Thomas about the significance of Royal protocol and how they must conform and comply.
Thomas Markle seems to be a gentle soul much like Meghan’s mother, but he has his own political views and feels he has a right to chat merrily about highly intimate aspects of Meghan’s new life with her husband Prince Harry. In recent reports he spoke candidly about Meghan’s wish for a child soon his private phone calls to the Prince and The Prince’s views on Brexit. He is a man like any father anywhere in the world, one with remorse and regrets about the estrangement of his daughter. An unassuming man, he regrets the scenarios with paparazzi and retrospectively now knows it was a huge mistake. It was he who made the point to Prince Harry, by phone saying ” I said, You’re a gentleman promise me you’ll never raise your hand against my daughter, and of course I give you my permission” to marry Meghan.
Never in my psychological career have I ever heard those words echoed by the fathers of their daughters. There is a reason behind this very explicit command to an ex captain of the British Army and highly skilled helicopter pilot who has seen and served in war zones in Afghanistan. Does Thomas construe in his own mind stereotypes of ex British soldiers who will use aggression towards the ones they love? Does he really think a passionate loving caring young Royal Prince would ever lift his hand to Meghan? What does this tell us about Thomas Markle’s personality? This and other off the cuff remarks have left Meghan Prince Harry and the Royal family completely bewildered and highly embarrassed by his actions. Furthermore, what would happen if her were to make the long flight to London this week or next. He could arrive unannounced like Crocodile Dundee encamped in a Sloane Square hotel or in downtown Soho, but more so near Bethnal Green… who knows . Thomas is a loose canon, but if Meghan behaved respectfully as HRH, she would now make arrangements to fly her father over to Kensington palace and treat him as any estranged daughter should do, with love and respect. My view is that Prince Harry would have or could order her to do this, but Meghan has an undesirable trait of controllability and dominance.
In Thomas Markle I see deep inside his personality type. I have analysed his narrative and dialogue for a long time and he is an intelligent man in his own right. Most families anywhere in the world have disputes disagreements, loss, grief alienation, joy happiness. Is he any different from most fathers in the western world? Its extraordinary that Duchess Meghan ironically the pinnacle of humanitarianism, and her care for the homeless in LA could find herself in the position today where she couldn’t give a toot about her father who sacrificed so much for her to become the film star she was and still is. Has Meghan or can Meghan find the desire in her heart to show consistency in her personal beliefs and practical christianity? After all, she is now a baptised and confirmed Anglican and will subscribe to the basic principle of holy scripture. She will know the story of the prodigal son and will also understand the commands of Christ to love one another. To completely rusticate her loving but outspoken father with a severe heart condition to the realms of rural Mexico, with an “out of sight out of mind “attitude, this tells us much more about her hidden and conflicting motives and basic desires.
Ok, her father is controversial, who isn’t among us mere mortals, and Meghan is noted for her outspoken views and some more recently when she also introduced political rhetoric into her Royal duties, once in Dublin and elsewhere. The cost of being a young or older Royal is keeping one’s mouth shut and learning the art of not speaking about politics or feminism or humanitarianism whilst on Royal duty. Perhaps her father’s impulsive nature has rubbed of on his Royal daughter, one can socially learn the art of subtle controversary and how one take ones stand in life even when one marries a Royal Prince. Prince Harry shows his social influence over Thomas Markle when in a brief discussion about Donald Trump, the Prince suggested to Mr Markle that he should “Give him a chance”. Such are the christian principles seen in Prince Harry and his motive to encourage tolerance and respect for one’s President.
In today’s press reports Thomas Markle shows a reflection of his inner self as he also provides us with some insight into is own state of mind. He claims that his daughter, the Duchess of Sussex “ is terrified and there’s pain in her smile”. He would know over the years the joys and sorrows she has endured, he knows the subtle differences between a natural smile from the heart, filled with real joy, and the “film set smile” and so has the capacity and intuitive feelings that all is not well with Meghan. He’s an astute man, more likely to feel that the stress of her now being a Royal brings with it many constraints that she was not prepared to accept. Thomas is pretty much correct in this respect, her laughter and smiles on many occasions now contrast with the Hollywood gestures. But Meghan you are no longer a Hollywood film star , you’re a Royal and expected to behave like the young princess you are. Watch your sister in law Kate as a your mentor as to how she interacts with her family members Be the Royal Princess you are. Show your father grace acceptance love and respect for al he has done to bring you where you are. You still have time to drop the extravagant overzealous spending on French designers whilst British designers need you to wear their designs. Time maybe to reconsider your identity, it does take time, but show the British public the affection you have for your loving father, besides your devoted mother. Lift the phone today, show your empathy love and concern and keep both parents involved psychologically with your life as far as Royal protocol permits with all its constraints.
The Queen is soon at Balmoral, perhaps now is the time for your father to come and stay at Nottingham Cottage Meghan .Let the healing of emotions begin today.