Politicians and Infidelity
Summer has gone and autumn is here and we as a nation in the UK have been totally consumed by the personalities scandals and cheating behaviours on ITV2’s Love Island and recently Celebrity Big Brother. But we cannot attribute blame exclusively on Love Island, as all reality shows fulfil a basic need in mankind, gratifying many of our sixteen basic desires and drives or motives. Not to mention the associated voyeurism that satisfies the lust of viewers and maintains extortionate viewer ratings.
In today’s tabloids and broadsheet’s it’s been reported that the fun loving buffoon and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson’s marriage is sadly over. His estranged and long suffering QC barrister wife Marina Wheeler has had enough of his infidelity, it is reported. But he’s not alone, as many MP’s have also had series of affairs John Major, Jeremy Corbyn … the list is endless across all political parties. Now we await the notorious muck slinging by the Torie’s opposition, and who are they to cast the first stone? We can’t help but think of how Melania Trump must have felt when the recent stories broke about her husbands alleged affairs with Stormy Daniels and others. What then do we mean by a scandal? It would be quite wrong to focus our attention on the sexual behaviours of fake tanned lovebirds on Love island whilst our leading Politicians Church leaders Business tycoons, Premium League Footballers and other professionals are all guilty of infidelity and worse.
“Sordid allegations made against MPs and party officials at the heart of politics led to public revulsion and calls for strict codes of conduct for politicians” were the red top tabloids not so very long ago.
The Sun newspaper reported that a dossier was compiled by Tory aides detailing allegations of sexual impropriety against Conservatives. The list revealed six Cabinet ministers.
Accusations ranged from affairs to more specific claims such as one Minister said to be “handsy with women at parties”, and a backbencher who is “perpetually intoxicated and very inappropriate with women”.
The list accused two MPs of using the services of prostitutes while a well-known female MP was accused of having extramarital sex with young male researchers.
Amid the most startling claims was allegations that there is a video showing a male MP being urinated on by three men.
One MP was said to enjoy sex “with men who wear women’s perfume”.
Psychological underpinnings of Politicians and sexual prowess
One psychological explanation for this male behaviour lies in the basic sixteen motivational states that act as precursors to the politicians personality traits. Among these core basic drive states are the drives for sex hunger love vengeance curiosity among others. The sexual drives according to some social and biological psychologists are ethological in that males act like predators driven to impregnate as many young attractive women as they can in their lifetime. Females with high cheekbones wide eyes and lips with curves rate highly as they are seen by the males as “good breeding material” and so goes the theory. This is greatly facilitated by the power motive and exacerbated by the huge amount of social mobility they acquire as part of their senior political status in parliament. Young attractive female and male researchers become the target of their sexual prowess with the aim of their coping with the stresses of political or celebrity life and also a means towards an end.
Not a remotest thought for the emotional hurt and anguish experienced by the women who are attracted to men with very high social political and economic status in public life. The higher the celebrity status of politicians the greater is the interpersonal attraction. The plethora of international trips abroad and within the UK facilitate the establishment and development of the affair. Money speaks many languages said a client of mine who told me of his list of affairs and his phenomenal guilt about his wife and family as he stayed abroad in five star hotels wining and dining with his young mistresses. He attributed this to the long time apart from his wife and family, the stress of political life and his frustration .He said that a time comes when you enter into a virtual fantasy state whilst having these one night stands or several in his case. He reported that he neve commits emotionally to these young vulnerable women, and in some cases neither do they. By way of contrasts it can it is argued, facilitate the promotion of younger MPs and researchers to higher rank order.It is devoid of any moral reasoning and emotional intelligence.
Scandal derives from a Greek word for “snare,” implying that one is “snared” into moral failure. Scandal was originally a term used to denote a discredit brought upon religion by “unseemly conduct in a religious person,” especially if it encourages a lapse of faith in another’, Other definitions are as follows: “An action or event regarded as morally or legally wrong and causing general public outrage. And “rumour or malicious gossip about scandalous events or actions”.
The Myths of Infidelity
Everybody is unfaithful. It’s normal, expectable behaviour. But the truth is most people are faithful most of the time.
The people who are running from bed to bed creating disasters for themselves and everyone else don’t seem to know what they are doing. They just don’t get it. But why should they? There is a mythology about infidelity that shows up in the popular press and even in the mental health literature that is guaranteed to mislead people and make dangerous situations even worse.
Most species of birds and animals in which the male serves some useful function other than sperm donation are inherently monogamous. Humans, like other nest builders, are monogamous by nature, but imperfectly so. We can be trained out of it, though even in polygamous and promiscuous cultures people show their true colours when they fall blindly and crazily in love. And we have an escape clause: nature mercifully permits us to survive our mates and mate again. But if we slip up and take a new mate while the old mate is still alive, it is likely to destroy the pair bonding with our previous mate and create great instinctual disorientation—which is part of the tragedy of infidelity.
One myth is that “Affairs are good for you; an affair may even revive a dull marriage. Back at the height of the sexual revolution, the Playboy philosophy and its Cosmopolitan counterpart urged infidelity as a way to keep men manly, women womanly, and marriage vital. Lately, in such books as Annette Lawson’s Adultery and Dalma Heyn’s The Erotic Silence of the American Wife, women have been encouraged to act out their sexual fantasies as a blow for equal rights.”
It is true that if an affair is blatant enough and if all hell breaks loose, the crisis of infidelity can shake up the most petrified marriage, Of course, any crisis can serve the same detonation function, and burning the house down might be a safer, cheaper, and more readily forgivable attention-getter.
However utopian the theories, the reality is that infidelity, whether it is furtive or blatant, will blow hell out of a marriage. In 30 odd years of practice, I have encountered only a handful of established first marriages that ended in divorce without someone being unfaithful, often with the infidelity kept secret throughout the divorce process and even for years afterwards. Infidelity is the sine qua non of divorce.
People have affairs because they are oversexed. Affairs are about secrets. The infidelity is not necessarily in the sex, but in the dishonesty.
Swingers have sex openly, without dishonesty and therefore without betrayal (though with a lot of scary bugs). More cautious infidels might have chaste but furtive lunches and secret telephone calls with ex-spouses or former affair partners—nothing to sate the sexual tension, but just enough to prevent a marital reconciliation or intimacy in the marriage.
Affairs generally involve sex, at least enough sex to create a secret that seals the conspiratorial alliance of the affair, and makes the relationship tense, dangerous, and thus exciting. Most affairs consist of a little bad sex and hours on the smartphone. In general, monogamous couples have a lot more sex than the people who are screwing around.
As a broadcaster, TV presenter and TV reality show psychologist, over the years in live telly have seen the transition from the days when CBB was a basic social experiment imbued with all forms of experts and scientific analysis. But times have changed, our brains have matured much more and it’s within human nature for all of us mortals to enjoy the full repertoire of human emotions from joy to anger to curiosity through intrigue humour jealously and so on. Laughter is the essence for today’s reality tv and more so for this summer’s Celebrity Big Brother. Our brain fuel needs CBB and the predicted exposure of various intimacies and scandals from the housemates leave us filled with curiosity intrigue, arguments as to who did what and for what reason. Who will dish the dirt? The celeb housemates will engage in the most volatile arguments, the muck will fly as each housemate expose their horrid and embarrassing past. This is reality tv, it’s the life oxygen we need and ultimately depend on day by day to keep the nation sane. We are also motivated to not miss one iota of an episode, it’s the “missing out” factor that drives us into an obsessive state emotionally as we ourselves in our cosy homes become the Judge and Jury of the celebrity scandals. Are you taken in by the colourful cover pages of celebrity gossip informing you of the latest celebrity scandal? Wise up guys… do you really think that Stormy Daniels is going into the CBB House? No one knows except the producers and executives and its better that we don’t know just yet. Suspense is good. Can’t see her leaving the dragons den over the pond to spill all in the CBB house Her fee alone could pay for a new CBB series ! But we are not short of scandals in UK . Many of the lesser known mortals with spray tanned chests and a rib cage like circus performing panthers and painted dulux teeth like a piano keyboard have little inside their tiny brain most of the time. Devoid of anything serious in this world socially politically or economically, but coy enough to manipulate the causes of their scandals discounting them as they are debated by the panel on the spin off shows, Bit on the Side. We are all entertainers playing out life like puppets on a string and the Housemates are no different.
What drives them to the political and celebrity scandal?
In my professional Tv work with celebrities and politicians, I’m frequently asked why do celebrities feel the desire to have short lived relationships, and why does the insatiable lust for money sex and cheating behaviour play such a significant part of their daily lives? No one sets out in a relationship even as a celebrity, political or otherwise to deliberately cause an international scandal. It’s become the standard norm almost, a very clever little psychological strategy to get world attention, and by jolly it works! Hail the corridors of cathartic power in our beloved studios.
Most but not all celebrities crave attention, and here in the UK high status political leaders frequently compromise their integrity, their destiny is to be seen and heard and to be centre of controversy. Males, and here I include politicians, are ethologically promiscuous, as males are motivated to impregnate as many women as possible over their lifetime. The production and consumption of celebrity scandal has become an international or global network of sharing our intimacies and misdemeanours purely to get attention. The motive is to get it viral within milliseconds and obsessively count the number of hits or likes on Instagram Snapchat or Facebook. Their divorce lawyers are always ready to take that call that sees them falling at their client’s knees in UK or LA to increase their status in the legal fraternity
The Psychology Behind Donald Trump’s Unwavering Support
Research explains why Donald Trump maintains support despite shocking behaviour.
There’s no doubt that Donald Trump has said many things that would have been political suicide for any other Republican candidate. And almost every time he made one of these shocking statements, political analysts on both the left and the right predicted that he’d lose supporters because of it. But as we have clearly seen over the past year, they were dead wrong every time. Trump appears to be almost totally bulletproof.
The only thing that might be more perplexing than the psychology of Donald Trump is the psychology of his supporters. In their eyes, The Donald can do no wrong. Even Trump himself seems to be astonished by this phenomenon. “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters, OK? It’s, like, incredible.”
Senator John McCain, who has been a regular target for Trump during his campaign, has a simple explanation for his unwavering support. “What he did was he fired up the crazies.”
While the former Republican presidential nominee may be on to something, he doesn’t exactly provide a very satisfying scientific explanation. So how exactly are Trump loyalists psychologically or neurologically different from everyone else? What is going on in their brains that makes them so blindly devoted?
Some believe that many of those who support Donald Trump do so because of ignorance — basically they are under-informed or misinformed about the issues at hand. When Trump tells them that crime is skyrocketing in the United States, or that the economy is the worst it’s ever been, they simply take his word for it.
The seemingly obvious solution would be to try to reach those people through political ads, expert opinions, and logical arguments that educate with facts. Except none of those things seem to be swaying any Trump supporters from his side, despite great efforts to deliver this information to them directly.
The Dunning-Kruger effect explains that the problem isn’t just that they are misinformed; it’s that they are completely unaware that they are misinformed. This creates a double burden.
Studies have shown that people who lack expertise in some area of knowledge often have a cognitive bias that prevents them from realizing that they lack expertise. As psychologist David Dunning puts it in an op-ed for Politico, “The knowledge and intelligence that are required to be good at a task are often the same qualities needed to recognize that one is not good at that task — and if one lacks such knowledge and intelligence, one remains ignorant that one is not good at the task. This includes political judgment.” Essentially, they’re not smart enough to realize they’re dumb.
And if one is under the illusion that they have sufficient or even superior knowledge, then they have no reason to defer to anyone else’s judgment. This helps explain why even nonpartisan experts — like military generals and Independent former Mayor of New York/billionaire CEO Michael Bloomberg — as well as some respected Republican politicians, don’t seem to be able to say anything that can change the minds of loyal Trump followers.
Many I know become involved in national or international scandals unintentionally, it’s a professional embarrassment caused by the other party. Sometimes they lack or become victims of poor judgment. They either deceive or are deceived. Celebrity status brings with . But these are celebrities, who have been embroiled in scandals, now wishing to tell their story in the Big Brother House. they are in Love island, TOWIE Corrie Street or CBB, First Dates and so on. Do we as viewers and consumers of celebrity and reality tv permit them to become victims of scandals? Perhaps before the CBB begins in August, you can be your own detective probing the background of these big wig scandals across the pond and here in UK.
Why not get your friends on social media to join you in sussing out the who’s who in these celebrity storms? You may form your own opinions as to who is really responsible and then check it out when you tune into the housemates own accounts each evening. Have fun see if you can catch them out! Are they telling all and will we believe them? We thrive obsessively on being guilty of media gluttony reading periodical covers of the glossies, tabloids red tops revealing the latest celebrity scandals, we love it, these become the talking points of our daily psychological needs, what else can we talk about on social media ? Ironically in defence of CBB, the show meets so many of our needs to maintain our self esteem our sense of understanding, the need to create laughter fun excitement and even to the extent where we will exaggerate the celeb scandals even to seek more attention ourselves.
Emotional tsunami and celeb scandals in the CBB House
Celebrity gossip does more than satisfy an innate human instinct, however — it actually brings us true enjoyment. Its escapism at its very best. For some people, learning about the secret lives of celebrities, what happens behind the scenes, is a way to escape from their daily routine. The juicier the news, the better. Once all the new housemates enter the House, evaluations begin but watch out ! There will be ONE new celebrity that will be the most narcissistic of all the housemates, and who will trigger off the emotional STORM, He or she will cause absolute mayhem by confronting another housemate, perhaps Stormy
Daniels or the volatile big mouth Samantha Markle, if she’s in the house. The suspense is now mounting until mid August, no shortage of explosive celebrity scandals that will have you looking for an extra oxygen supply! The exciting aspect of CBB is that we either love it or hate it. As an ex CBB Psychologist, those who become “addicted” to it summer and winter tell me it makes them feel good. Dump the herbal remedies and St John’s Wort …..you don’t need these when the best antidote to depression is viewers bonding with the housemates. Fun psychology means that we can use this natural remedy to boost our endorphins and serotonin levels. The pure excitement in the Housemates is reflected in the banter with Rylan Clark-Neal and Emma Wills in the spin off show Bit on the Side. The preoccupation with the lives of celebrities isn’t exactly unhealthy. In some cases, it can actually be beneficial to our psychology. People who lack social skills, for example, can use celebrity gossip as a base to bond with others with the same interests. Studio audience and panel guests will disagree vehemently with the nature of the storms and celebrity scandals and who was to blame.
What makes Scandals so fascinating to see and hear?
What makes scandals so interesting? A good scandal can be titillating, outrageous, entertaining, satisfying and edifying—it allows us to feel superior, to pity or despise the transgressor and to get vicarious pleasure, all at the same time. It becomes a “feeding frenzy.” People can’t get enough of it—every morsel will be chewed and devoured like delicious rich cake. As CBB Housemates play to camera, the exaggeration will increase as everyone lies and the situational context of the show will increase the potential for exaggeration between the housemates as their personal lives traumas and storms are exposed. Celebrity scandals allows us to fantasize about high status lives we will never have and here is the dichotomy. Our lives are much in parallel, the boring or reasonably happy lives we live in each day contrasted to the extreme wealthy lifestyles and relationships of the Hollywood A Listers or the realty tv star brigade from TOWIE, Corrie, First Dates, LoveIsland…and The Real Housewives of New York City
Scandal is relative. What causes a scandal at one time or in one place might not in another. There can be no scandal without a scandalized public. Former Prime Minister of Italy Silvio Berlusconi’s solicitation of underage prostitutes resulted in his arrest, but apparently, no significant scandal. According to Italian filmmaker Paolo Sorrentino, that is because, in Italy everyone loves parties.
Susan Kolod Ph.D and I take the same view about why people LOVE scandals and in the 18th Birthday edition of CBB. Here’s her take and mine:
1 Vicarious pleasure in the rule-breaking of another. Transgression is titillating. Every person is tempted to break rules and boundaries but for the most part, resists. The scandalous person has given into temptation.
2.Pleasure at the punishment of the transgressor. There is a sense of moral satisfaction when the scandalous person is humiliated or punished. It restores faith in the orderliness of the moral universe. Scandals exaggerate the sense that there are good and bad people.
3.Pleasure at watching someone “get away with it.” In Missing Out, Phillips writes that “getting away with it” occurs when you obtain the forbidden object of desire without paying penalty. The unpunished transgressor allows us to imagine this (potentially thrilling) experience.
4.Pleasure at being asked to forgive. This elicits a feeling of power and triumph in the person to whom the request is made. The transgressor has to grovel, and forgiveness can either be granted or denied. This provides the non-transgressor a feeling of superiority, however fleeting.
In summary then. We have no idea who the Celebrity Housemates will be, but one sure thing. There WILL BE SCANDAL and over the time they are in Big Brother House I want you to watch my You tube videos and twitter updates as to who is conning who with the cause of and impact of the scandal and the Storms in their lives. Everyone is a psychologist , so here’s your chance to play forensic psychologists with Big Brothers Housemates. Have fun each night, spread the word on social media, be interactive with the show, tell them what you think and get the fireworks cracking.
The Celebrity Doctor